balsamandash | there's a chaos that reigns at the heart of this beast

More lists. Lists are good. Lists are useful. I need to stop immediately brainresonating to "dear [x], here is a list of things" every time I go to start one. But lists are good.

names
adding on to mine. i feel like i want more to it. there's a middle name i have an eye on because i'm fond of one of the diminuitives and don't hate the sound of the full thing, i just... feel silly using it and can't tell you why.

writing pseudonyms. i still don't mind Morgan Byrne, i just... don't know. for that matter i still like The Witchy Wordsmith as a... not penname but a writerly identity? but doing things with it is hard.

religion
how to start looking for a fitting pantheon/patron

if i want to make an altar when i move. how, where, and what i would do with it.

learning to meditate or finding a replacement for it as a practice.

working with connections.

rediscovering tarot.

kink
whether this wanting of things is a general restlessness trying to find a home or an actual desire.

people
how to learn to talk to them when i want to

self-care
mental health diary. physical health diary.

scents to ground with. routines to ground with. how to make them.

things that comfort even when hurting. things that make me laugh even when sad.

"it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what."

ways to remind myself i am worth self-care when i don't feel like i deserve it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Names: I like the sound of both of those to be honest. XD Also I like [letter][letter] [lastname] psuedonyms, they sound tidy, so... yes. You're a little ridiculous but not terribly? :D?

As for me: Uuuugh, I still feel silly and I don't know why, but -- Andromeda? I still like Meda as a name. And both August Andromeda and August Andromeda Thorne have a rhythm/pattern that sounds nice to me? I can't even tell you how/why but they do.

Religion: Maaaaaybe? Movable is nice because if I get to the habit of doing rituals I can drag it to the middle of the room but. Bah. Altars are weird. Religion is doing weird things to my brain right now, don't mind me.

Kink: I... words are hard? I just. Want things. And I'm not even sure what anymore. I just. Want things. I'm trying?

Self-care: On the one hand physical seems like a good idea. On the other, I think I am more likely to keep up with something virtual, and possibly that is put in a place where more than just me can see it.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. We will hit things next week or something? <3

Names: I kind of like Andromeda? I really like Meda but I like the whole thing too. I see no reason you can't go for it, especially considering this is, in the end, for you. Do what you want, what you fee comfortable doing. And speaking of letter/letter/last name, A. A. Thorne makes me happy.
Yeah, I know I'm a little bit but it sounds good? Like, in my head the names work. And even if I were to Georgia S. Barnes or Georgia M. Barnes, they work, y'know?

Religion: I will keep an eye out for another, or if not, I will re-purpose the one we have. I need to clear it off and wipe it down anyway, so adding some wood on top wouldn't be a big deal and even if you don't use it, having a steady surface by my bed won't be bad.

Kink: Well, can you tell me what you're not thinking? Like what are the things you don't want or feel like you don't need right now. Alternatively, you can seriously just babble at me through IM or the phone if need be.

Self care: Okay, how about both? You can turn it into a bit of a habit/ritual thing in which you write in the virtual journal and then pick a day wherein you plug in the highlights into a paper and pencil one. It can be a while thing wherein you take a bath, put a scent you like, or light candles or whatever and plug in the notes for the week/month/whatever.

I really like the sound of it, I just have to beat back the brainwolves that say "you change your name often enough as it is" and "no". Mrrrh. And I don't mind most diminuitives that come from either or the combo. Just... yeah. BRAINS. *jazzhands*

It does sound good! I encourage the thing to be honest. Please don't think I wasn't encouraging the thing. Encouraaaaage.

Religion: <333333 That works for me. And. Yes. Thank you. Things.

Kink: I don't know? I don't know what I want or don't or anything. Everything is kind of boiling over. I think the disconnected with people/displeasure with self is just trying to channel itself into the area and words are not... really presenting themselves. If I can scrape them up I will share them but I don't even have them for myself.

Self-care: Maaaaaaaybe? Mrrrh, maybe. I might start brainstorming things I'd want ot keep track of (because having a template might be easier than saying "start writing about how you feel!") and figure it out from there.

Names: I change my name more than you, and I know that doesn't help but fuck your brain. I will call you whatever you like and call you multiple things if that suits you
I am doing the thing. I feel horribly silly but I am doing the thing.

Religions: Woooosh! I will talk to my mom about getting some plywood and what we need to do to get it set up.

Kink: Mmmkay. Well, I am still here to listen if you need me to, okay? I love you and wanna help where I can.

Self care: If you do a template, let me know? I could probably use it too, as I would really like to get into a similar habit (an dneed to for my therpay anyway).

Names: Yes, but you're you and not me. so that's okay. I am working on it? I am not sure what I'm doing but I am working on it.
And YAAAAAAY. :D

Selfcare: I will shove the template at you when I get it done or as I get it done. I don't know if what works for me will for you, but.

And just in general, hearts. a million hearts. aaaall the hearts.

I will take the hearts. All the hearts. And then give them back to you.

there's a chaos that reigns at the heart of this beast

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