The Marquis de All The Knives (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
balsamandash) wrote2015-02-02 11:30 pm
balsamandash) wrote2015-02-02 11:30 pm
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there's a chaos that reigns at the heart of this beast
More lists. Lists are good. Lists are useful. I need to stop immediately brainresonating to "dear [x], here is a list of things" every time I go to start one. But lists are good.
- names
- adding on to mine. i feel like i want more to it. there's a middle name i have an eye on because i'm fond of one of the diminuitives and don't hate the sound of the full thing, i just... feel silly using it and can't tell you why.
- writing pseudonyms. i still don't mind Morgan Byrne, i just... don't know. for that matter i still like The Witchy Wordsmith as a... not penname but a writerly identity? but doing things with it is hard.
- religion
- how to start looking for a fitting pantheon/patron
- if i want to make an altar when i move. how, where, and what i would do with it.
- learning to meditate or finding a replacement for it as a practice.
- working with connections.
- rediscovering tarot.
- kink
- whether this wanting of things is a general restlessness trying to find a home or an actual desire.
- people
- how to learn to talk to them when i want to
- self-care
- mental health diary. physical health diary.
- scents to ground with. routines to ground with. how to make them.
- things that comfort even when hurting. things that make me laugh even when sad.
- "it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what."
- ways to remind myself i am worth self-care when i don't feel like i deserve it.
no subject
Maybe in looking for deities, you can start with "I'm looking for this in a deity" and see if anyone bites or otherwise shows interest.
As for meditation, just sitting is tough, even if you can just sit and try to let the thoughts go. There's a thought that meditation could be done walking or in motion, whether as a martial art or a nature walk or a labyrinth maze (which, now that I think about it, is hopefully just your thing) and so you could keep practice without having to do bad things to yourself.
no subject
That's really not a bad idea. I need to do some sitting down and thinking and figuring out what kind of influence I think I need, but. That's more of a starting place than I had, so thank you. <3
Labyrinth mazes are super fantastic for me and things like this actually -- at a Samhain campout I went to once, they had a labyrinth painted on a giant piece of plastic for walking and contemplation/meditation. It was possibly the best thing ever for that kind of mindset, I just do not know how to get that sort of thing into my life when I'm not out on campgrounds, hmm.
Other than that, active-but-ritualistic might work best, I just need to figure things out. I wonder if I still remember my katas from when I took classes.
no subject
I have seen labyrinth rugs in peoples houses. The not giant, but they are good-sized, and I think that if you could procure one, that would work out. Or maybe get a tarp of some sort and paint a maze on it.
Failing that, yeah, maybe katas or collecting some Tai Chi knowledge.